Early morning #Work by the water… I want the white one! ;) (at The Ritz-Carlton, Marina Del Rey)
You know you’ve been there, it’s late at night, you’ve had some drinks, shared some laughs and he’s super Sexy Hot! As more time goes by and alcohol consumed, a voice in your head argues the reasons why it’s okay to go home with him, that it’s perfectly normal, in fact, absolutely chic. “You’re adults,” the voice chirps, “and you can tell he likes you, alot” … and you’re off, moments later so are your clothes.
In the sobering morning hours, as you fast track your walk of shame, you’re feeling rather un-chic, ‘cause you actually like him and now that same little voice is sporting a big old attitude, pointy finger and all, sayin “…girl you messed up.”
Good news is, YOU ARE NOT ALONE! If you date long enough, you’re going to have moments of weakness and moments you wish you could take back, so don’t spend precious time beating yourself up.
If you really like the guy, then the important aspect here is to focus on making the most of the situation and finding out if he is truly a man you can include in your long-term planning.
Here are 4 steps to get back on track:
1. Invite him out for some candid conversation (coffee shops are normally perfect for this type of thing). Location and timing are important, because you don’t want to have a repeat performance of the “accidental sex session” …
2. Set the tone quickly; your attitude for the conversation must be fun, open-minded and direct. Simply let him know that you had a great time, but you really want something more substantial than a sexual fling. The key here is to be honest about how you felt that night and be generous with compliments; men get self-conscious too, so compliments will help prevent him from worrying that you may just be trying to “let him down” softly after a bad sexual performance on his part.
3. Encourage him to be honest and be prepared for any answer that he may give. This is a critical step, because fostering honest and open dialogue is the foundation of great relationships.
4. Ask him questions that will help you understand his true intentions with you. if he says, “I only want sex,” don’t get mad; he’s simply being honest. If, on the other hand, he says, “I want to explore a meaningful relationship” be happy, but also be cautiously optimistic; the hard part has just begun.
Along with great feelings, sex comes with chemical reactions that will quite often seriously impair your dating judgment, so set a personal timeframe for yourself and how you want the physical aspects of your relationship to evolve. Let him know that you want to take a little more time to get to know him before you hop back in the sack. If he’s truly worth your time, HE’LL WAIT! Good luck getting back on track …
If you have a personal story to share or have questions, please comment below. I’m here for you. www.brandonaki.com
When former Who’s the Boss star Alyssa Milano released a Sex Tape, it got everyone’s attention! While her Funny or Die release was more about Syria then Sex (see article here), there are many celebrity and non-celebrity women alike who let it all hang out for the world to see. So, if he asks YOU to make a sex tape, here are words of wisdom to consider before you get your sexy on:
• Fear: Understand the ramifications. Let’s face it, much of the anxiety around sex tapes is the fear that it will be made public and come back to bite you in the butt later.
• Communicate: Before you even consider any of this, you should know as much as you can about him, his mother and their relationship with each other. Hint: Men who respect and love their mothers would never consider embarrassing you in public.
• Trust: Use your intuition. If you get a “funny” feeling about him, STOP. You shouldn’t even be having sex with someone you don’t trust.
• Environment: if you choose not to Trust your instinct, control the environment; plenty of sex tapes have resulted from hidden cameras.
• Participation: Men can be shy too, so get him in the shot. An “inadvertent” posting of the video is less likely if “He”and all his glory are prominently displayed in it.
• Sexy: The impact of a sex tape is less catastrophic to you if you look amazing in it. So, before you get started spend a little extra time in the mirror and always Arch Your Back and Point Your Toes. If you don’t understand what that is, chances are you’ve got more dating problems to worry about than a sex tape.
Have you ever left a great date thinking it went really well, then days go by without a call or text and you’re left wondering, “What went wrong”? Sometimes disaster strikes and we never see it coming. In relationships, it often isn’t about the big problems; simple mistakes in the dating environment can be just as deadly!
Very often we don’t know what we need and focus on what we want: The cute guy with six pack abs, the man with the Maserati and million dollar paycheck, the model with legs for days and long, flowing blonde hair. While these attributes are desirable, the man or woman of your dreams on paper could turn into a nightmare in real life, especially if they aren’t what you need. Here are 4 Reasons to Seek Advice from a Matchmaker!
Summertime, and the living is easy … but is the dating hard? It can be if you aren’t prepared! Don’t let the summer months pass you by without a chance for love, laughter and romance. Here are 3 rules to finding summer romance!
Rule #1: Tighten Up
Insecurities be gone! With hot summer nights comes less clothing. If you’re not in optimal shape, start working on your summer physique so you can feel good about how you look when the heat comes on and your clothes come off.
Rule #2: Connect with Mother Nature
During the summer months, romance is in the air. So get out and grab some for yourself! Indulge your senses with romantic bike rides, strolls in the park, walks on the beach and picnics by the shore.
Rule #3: Watch Your Mouth
High temps means low tolerance … for alcohol. Heat can exaggerate the effects of your alcoholic drinks so stay hydrated my friends. Remember, in dating it’s not about getting intoxicated – it’s about getting to know each other. More hydration and conversation and less boozing and babbling.
Is dating deadly?! It can be if you’re not prepared! With summer right around the corner, here are the dating dangers far too many people fall victim to. Understand these deadly sins and how to fix them in your life before you go out and you’ll avoid the harsh rays of dating and relationships.
1. Not Knowing Who You Are: Always have your “” ready! Good men are few in number and dating is all about opportunities. But opportunities are only good if you’re prepared to make the best of them. For this reason, you must always be ready when a great one comes your way. Caution: this is much more difficult than you think because men and women really are from different planets. And learning how to speak “his” language is one of the hardest things you can learn in a lifetime. Men are much more complex than you realize so to make it easier on yourselves there are guidelines I always give my clients: Know who you are, what you stand for, where you’re going and be able to communicate it clearly and with confidence.
2. Wearing Blinders: If you don’t know your destination, how can you expect to know when you’ve arrived? Don’t make the mistake of meeting the man of your dreams and being too blind to recognize him… One of the most critical areas of concern in dating are not only knowing who you are, but knowing who you are going to be. Just because a man is going to be good for you now, doesn’t mean he’ll be good for you in the future: Marriage, kids, growing old together… To gain a clearer picture of who a great man is, you must differentiate between NEEDS and Wants. If you find it difficult to clearly define what you need in a mate, take a look at your track record in dating, take the time to dissect the problem areas of past relationships and if you find areas of repeated problems, chances are these problems are symptoms of an underlying need in your life.
3. Being Unapproachable: Realize that what you wear, your body language and who you hang out with speaks volumes for how others perceive you in dating. When I was growing up my parents always taught me, “personal appearance doesn’t cost, it pays!”
And in today’s dating environment, I often find that when it comes to the opposite sex, what you wear speaks so loudly that they often can’t hear what you are saying. So give yourself the upper hand in dating by always dressing for the person you want to attract. In the dating environment position yourself with an open, friendly posture and never be afraid to smile and always make sure that the people you are with have great attitudes.
4. Lack of Preparation: Remember, “He who fails to prepare, prepares to fail…” Often the best way to move forward is to first take a step back. Recharge your battery with friends and family and re-discover exactly who/what you need in your life now and long term. Next …(transition)
What good is having the man of your dreams if you don’t know what to say and how to say it. Men who are ready for commitment will ask the tough questions… Will you be prepared to answer them?
5. Unresolved Baggage: The more time you spend in dating, the more you realize how unique, rich and colorful the lives of people around us are. That being said, nobody’s perfect – we all have baggage! But unresolved issues: failed relationships, family drama, problem children, ex’s from hell, etc. can turn a good thing bad, quickly! Make sure you understand and appropriately deal with what’s weighing you down before you try to fly.
6. Blurred Boundaries: Earlier I stressed the importance of knowing who you are. A critical aspect of this process is also knowing what youwill and won’t do before each date. Compromising yourself is the quickest way to building insecurities and sabotaging a relationship before it begins. Use past experience to guide future decisions – if you know it’s hard to hold a sexual boundary after a couple of drinks, limit the drinks or don’t drink at all. Understand that all actions have consequences.
7. Lack of Confidence: Confidence is the sexiest outer garment you can wear, but it can only start when you feel it on the inside. The clearest way to see this in ourselves is to look in the mirror before you go out. Don’t just look at what you have on, how your hair looks, etc. Take inventory of your face, look into your eyes and take note of your body language. If the person you see looking back at you is not happy, secure and confident, ABORT - DON’T GO OUT! Dating is filled with numerous possibilities, but you have to make the most of them. Going out with a bad attitude or lack of confidence is sure to sabotage your dating chances before you even start. Luckily, if you avoid the pitfalls of steps 1-6 above, you’ll feel the change and others will see it!
Morning Kale Crepe—Avocado paste and rosemary tomato sauce… Wow! Loving Denver #FoodPorn (at Rioja)
Grillin’ cheese and savin’ babies–All in a day’s work…#Love #foodporn @nayha (at The 11th Annual Grilled Cheese Invitational)
Sea bass: amazing meal with friends… Who are you sharing special moments with? (at Bellagio Suites)